Something, please pray

September 20, 2015 – A Sunday evening. Ok, friends, something, oh here we go again with the vagueness (!), is supposed to happen on Thursday in Uganda. A few weeks after this something occurs, we will then gain a better understanding of “when” we will get to bring our little girl home.

 I apologize, again, for having to withhold so much information. I do it because I have been asked to do so by our adoption agent and secondly because this is our daughters story. So much of it is wonderful and we love sharing it; however, some parts are private and painful. The things that are taking place now are things that we will tell her about as she grows up, when she asks for information. Please, hang with us for now as we continue to swim in this sea of the unknown, not knowing how or when this will end. 

Yes, there is still a chance that things may not go as we wish. However, there is also a chance that this is another step toward bringing our daughter home. We have decided to focus on this part. If the Lord has other plans for us, He will make them known. For now though, tonight, this week, we are praying for things to go smoothly. We pray for decisions to be made that are in the best interest of our daughter. We are praying for peace to encircle us all, for mercy to be extended both in Uganda and in our hearts.

Once again, I am nervous. Ha! Nothing is in my control. Solution for all of you out there who think you have control of something – go adopt! Although since we have been riding the “patience train” for a while, it is not a jittery-nervous, but more like indigestion. It’s that uncomfortable feeling that has to” run its course”, so you might just stay close to the bathroom just in case. This family has no intention of staying in and hunkering down. We plan to pray harder and then go about our days, knowing that our God has got this all under His control anyway. We learned long ago that just because things do not go as we please, or move along on the timeline that we would like, does not mean that the God of the universe does not have this under His control. He’s got it. Now to pray, ask for more prayers and enjoy the ride. 

So, for anyone willing, please be in prayer for our beautiful daughter on Wednesday and Thursday. We trust God to carry us through this. There is simply no other way. I will update when we hear something. Until then, thank you for your concern and especially for your prayers. 

Here is a great song that fits this occasion. Enjoy!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIZitK6_IMQ

Just Be Held, by Casting Crowns

10 Year Anniversary

 THE STORY OF US

Married in a small town, two kids from the big town.

Joined in marriage in front of 40 of their family and friends.

God did something mighty, knitting us together tightly.

Would we make it? So much of that would depend….

Praise Him! We found salvation. Within a year we both accepted Him as Lord and solitary Savior in our lives.

Praise Him! He promised to cover us. Our sins, He forgave us. A future to look forward to as husband and wife.

Along came our little family, a new understanding of humanity, gifts that most parents cannot deny.

Together we walked through suffering, excitement, fear and questioning, but have learned that prayers really do reach the sky.

Ten years, 3 moves, 2 and a half children later, here we are still together, stronger each day only through His grace. Now, we watch for  Him expectantly, looking forward to life with Him eternally, daily seeing our faith play out in front of our face.

We live life now differently, in objection to how society says how things should go and what we should do. We try to obey Him without questioning, without fear and complete understanding, knowing that His love for us is true.

Thank you, God for all of your kindness, mercy and forgiveness. This is something that we surely do not deserve. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice, you died for us, you saved our lives. We live now only that your voice may be heard. 

Ten years united in matrimony, something so pure and holy. This is yet another thing that I do not merit. But, because His love is true, he came to earth and died for you, we do our best to talk of His love and share it..

Thank you Lord, for my family, this precious gift you made for me. Thank you for our struggles and our pain. Thank you, Lord for listening, giving peace and understanding, sending friends to us who also look forward to your reign.

I just want you to know, I’ve given you control, as if I ever had that for a second. So, do what you will with my family; my man, our children, our destiny, but I pray that it is our names you will beckon.

The story of Olafallart and Leslie is only a whisper of the story of God. A story of forgiveness, redemption and love, adoption, acceptance, service; something to be awed.

Thank you for continuing to be the peace in our storms. Your promises are true, it keeps our faith warm. 

There are so many things that I am thankful for, but  today I want to remind you , Lord. That I am most thankful for the man that you gave me 10 years ago, from whom I will never stray.

Moving Mountains

September 1, 2015 – a Tuesday. The lead pastor at our former church has always said that “closet prayers change lives, but group prayers changes communities.” Well, this just proved itself to be true today!

Last week I really felt that the Holy Spirit told me to ask my close friends and family members to specifically pray for our daughter so that things may change in her case, so that we may bring her home. The Lord has been waking me up lately in the wee morning hours, calling me to Him. I always know when God does this as no one can wake me up in the middle of the night so gently or peacefully as He. Also, when I get up and read His Word, I am never tired or groggy when I arise again at our normal wake up time. Crazy, right?! I know, He’s kind of awesome like that. 

So, this week, I sent a text message to close friends and family asking that they pray specifically for our daughter this week. We need to see some movement. Everyone replied acknowledging that they would remember her in their prayers. Today, a well-known pastor asked me to be his FaceBook friend. I have never met this person, mind you, but he sent me a request. I accepted, he then replied with a prayer and told me that  God told him to intercede in prayer for 20 people today and that I was one of those 20!! What?! How is this even possible? How has he ever even heard of me? 

I’m sorry, but I have to just dig into this piece. You have got to understand this. The Bible assures us that God has no favorites. However, has anyone besides me ever wondered if certain pastors, teachers or church workers might just get a front row seat at a Heavenly worship service? I mean, in my little human head, some people are just better believers than me. Well, this is one such person. This pastor is a well-known, widely accepted in the Christian world, author, preacher person. 

I responded that we were already so blessed, then decided, “oh, what the heck! He’s asking, so here we go!” I told him briefly about the obstacles in bringing our daughter home. I told him that we miss her and just need mountains to move. He replied with several meaningful, powerful scripture verses.  He was kind, assuring, and then wished me a good day. 

About an hour later, I was having breakfast when the Baby Home Director contacted me via FaceBook and told me that she had good news! Here is where I have to “go vague” again- I apologize. Our daughters’ biological family has agreed to move forward in taking critical steps in moving forward in the adoption process! The “when” and “how”, I am not sure about; however, there has been MOVEMENT! All family members agreed that this step needs to take place. Ah, Amen! Thank you, Jesus! Now, again, we will have to wait. Ugh, tough word around this house! But, we will wait expectantly, content in knowing that all will work out. Things are getting done. It is well with my soul. Today, I celebrate no revel in God’s amazing surprises and in His love for our daughter and our family!

Thank you all for your continued prayers. Please, pray that things will continue to “move” in Uganda. We still have quite a few hurdles to clear, but this is a positive step!

Long-Suffering grows in me.

August 25, 2015 – a Tuesday. Yesterday, both boys went back to school. This time, however they were both official elementary school students. This is something that seemed like nothing but a distant dream for so many years. Oh, they grow up so quickly, I have been told. It is hard to imagine that while chasing after little boys, cleaning up cracker crumbs and folding endless stacks of laundry. Yet, it happened to us. 

My first thought – we did it! We did it! Through the grace of God we have kept them alive and well enough to attend school! This actually happened. Oh, high-five us! Great job! Great job!

Then, the second thought came rolling in. Oh, well, I did think that Sister would be here by now. That, I would not yet have to walk out of that school alone, clutching my purse like it was the last warm roll at a fancy restaurant. I did not expect to leave those boys of mine and then exit the school only to drive home and hear nothing. It was quiet – my favorite sound (!), but this time it was kind of sad. The beauty that waits for us in Uganda, she is not here yet. I am missing my little side-kick even more now that I do not have to listen to her brothers all day. New strange feeling….

Third thought (well, actually more like a pondering), and this one has actually been here for a while but I have been ignoring it. Why is this taking so long, God? When will we be able to go get her? When can she come home? But, even before that, when will we hear some news – good, positive news regarding her case? Lord, we long to bring this child home , to love and raise her as our own. She is already ours in our hearts, Lord, how long must we wait? This month I have been extra anxious, as I have known that the dear lady who runs the Baby Home where Sister resides will be going to there for a visit. This promises nothing, except for the fact that she also wants to send sweet sister home to us and promised to help out, if at all possible. 

I formerly never knew the pain one can endure when waiting so long. But here are a few things that I have learned: 

1 .I am learning how to be “long suffering”. I have often heard that it was good, favorable to God, in fact, to be “long-suffering”. And, I have always thought to myself, “well, that sounds awful”. And, well, it can be. What's important here is to cling to the only One who can save you. Hang on tight and do not let go. This is a trust-growth-thingy. This will be a GREAT story when I survive this and live to tell about it. Really. But for now, just hanging on.

2. When I wake up now, I look forward to every single day. Maybe, this is the day that we will hear some good news. Perhaps, today we will see a new photo. See, it’s exciting! I focus on the “ maybe today’s”, not on the, “well that didn’t happens."

3. We are positive people, who look forward to positive things. Why spend all day whining about what is not, when you have so much to look forward to? Not me, not us, no time. Sure, I want her here and I really want it now. However, negativity never moved anything along. We prefer to stay positive, focusing on God’s promises. Yes, we grieve for her, love her, miss her, and want her here. But, we choose to believe and stay positive.

4. This long-suffering deal has really beefed up our patience muscles. This is absolutely NOT what I would have asked for; however, we are always given what we need. Yay. Sigh. No, really, patience was never my strong point and I still may have a long road ahead; however, we have no choice but to slow down and wait. Somehow this process is a sort of strength. Again, this was NOT on my wish list, but I am trying to make good use of this gift. 

5. We really, really, truly are excited for other people who are adopting. Often we get the feeling that people may not want to share their exciting news about their children or their adoption journey, in fear that it will make us sad. No need to not share, we really want to hear about it and cheer you on! It is uplifting to continue to hear such great stories and such positive news. Adoption, I have learned, is just like having a child with Cystic Fibrosis (our oldest son, Olaf, has this illness); every single case is different. So regardless of how long or how fast your journey is, they are all different. We honestly love to hear of others contemplating, in-the-middle-of, or about to bring home children whom they have adopted. It does our hearts good. 

Please join us in fervent prayer for good news regarding our daughter. We need a miracle. Please, pray for circumstances to shift so that we may bring her some soon. We did get 4 new pictures of her today and boy did that do our hearts good! She is growing, looks healthy and happy and is enjoying the new My Little Pony doll that we sent her. We are stuck in this place of long-suffering at the moment; however, we choose to continue to praise the One who can deliver us all from this 

Thank you for traveling this journey with us.

United we wait.

August 13, 2015 – a Thursday. Ok, so it’s been a while. This summer has lended itself to new adventures and also a new heartache. Apparently, the point of blogging is to share what’s on your heart. However, I can hardly bare it, must less share it. Perhaps, I am not meant to be a blogger. If so, I can live with that. 

Here is an update – still vague – on what’s been going on. We are still simply waiting for circumstances to change in order for us to bring our daughter home. The one we have been praying for and dreaming of for so long. The one that my youngest son cries for at least two times a week. He says that she will never get here and that it takes too long.  I know how he feels. That sweet girl. That’s the one. See, why would anyone want to read about this? Cradling my five year old while he is crying for his sister is just HARD. 

OK, so while we were (still are) waiting, another little angel came to our attention. This sweet child was the picture of a person in dire need. We were told that she was abandoned by her parents. She was being raised, sort of, by guardians that were on their deathbed. This sweet child had one piece of clothing, no bed, no shoes on her feet. It was tragic. So, we prayed for this child and pursued her. 

On a side note, I must say that we have been impressed with the way that the private investigators in Uganda can find information. I mean this in a most respectful way. Word of mouth seems to rule over there; however, the private investigators that we have hired can most assuredly find out information. This is important in an adoption, as both the Ugandan government and the US government want to assure that the child is a certified orphan. We, as people who care, also want to assure that we are bringing home a child who needs us. 

Long story short, when everyone really thought that we were at the point where we could order another private investigation, a mother showed up – Praise God! This child is not an orphan! This was a surprise but we were thrilled for the little girl. In an amazing turn of events, the mother agreed to give her child up for adoption, but when the child was deemed ready to first go into the orphanage (she needed medical assistance), her guardians had hidden her! She was nowhere to be found. It is a strong and long-held belief in Uganda that Westerners adopt children  and then use them for body parts. Awful, right? Well, the guardians were afraid that this was the case and therefore they hid the child. So, this case is closed. There is nothing that we can do for that precious person now except to pray for her. We know that God loves her more than we ever could. Her life is completely in His hands. I mean, all of our lives are in His hands. But, this child needed extended medical care, critical vitamins, shoes; things that she might never receive at this point. We cling to the fact that God loves her more. We are physically unable to even reach out to her at this point. Case closed. Please, pray for this child and the countless children like her. We know that the Lord loves His children. When you can see pictures of his most innocent ones in such desperate situations it will change you. It is my belief that we need this hurt, this ache in our everyday American lives. We need to pray for the least of these. 

Back to our “first” daughter, we are still waiting. We have the privilege to sponsor her while we pray, wait and hope for her situation to change so that we may adopt her. I received the news that she was not immediately available for adoption on my birthday. I received many of your birthday wishes and congratulatory notes, and I thank you. However, I was physically and emotionally unable to thank anyone, forgive me. My heart was hurting too much. This was the closest that I have ever come to feeling what it is like to lose a child. Parents who have lost a child: I have no doubt that your pain is far, far worse. I am certainly not trying to say my pain was harder to push through than anyone else’s. My point is only that IT HURT. It still hurts but we are moving through it. Our high points are the fact that we can sponsor her. We still receive pictures of her when we ask for them. In fact, I could not bear to ask for a picture until about three months had past. When we received an update photo of our Sister, we were all overcome with joy! Yes, she is growing and getting older without us. But, she is growing, thriving in fact, fed, cared for, well, happy, safe. What more could we ask for? We chose to wait on God’s perfect timing – even though we do not understand. We chose to believe that there is a reason that we may never understand for why this is taking so long. And, so we wait, as painful as it is, with our heads held high. We hold on to His promise that we will bring Sister home one day. 

There is not a day that goes by that we do not pray for Sister. We think about  her, talk about her, the boys play in her room….. Everything is ready for her, we are just waiting on her.

We are hopeful that we might hear some news regarding her situation this month. We are fully aware that it may not be the news that we wish to hear, but at this point hearing news is welcome. It is important to us that Sister knows (to the best her young mind can comprehend) that we love her and are waiting on her. She will receive a few gifts from us this month, including a new My Little Pony doll and some sweet little sandals.

Prayer requests: Please, pray for all of the needy children in the world. There are so many children that will never even have the chance to be adopted or sponsored. They need our prayers – desperately.  Would you  please pray for these children?

Please, pray and ask God if He would have you do something about this crisis. Can you sponsor a child with a monthly gift? Can you foster or adopt? Can you support those who bring such children into their home? Can you pray for them? 

Please, pray for a favorable response regarding our Sister. We are ALL ready to bring this child home. We are grateful for the opportunity to sponsor her, but are looking forward to having her here with us. Waiting on God is so hard. We know there is a reason and we will be obedient, but this is tough. 

Please, pray for our family. My boys’ hearts ache for their Sister. It is hard to explain why this process is taking so long. It is so difficult to comfort them about this. We continue to tell them that this is all in God’s hands and that when they see Him move that it is something that they will never forget. Please, lift them up in your prayers. Please, pray that their hearts will stay focused on God and what He has in store for them. Please, pray for protection against the enemy as time can make us grow weary. Please, pray for the Big O and I. Pray that we can parent our children well. Pray that we continue to stand firm and wait patiently together. Please, pray that we can bring our daughter home soon. 

Thank you for joining us on this most harrowing journey. We all had thought that she would be at home with us now. Yet, we still wait. United we wait.