Next step, mistep

August 6, 2014 – a Wednesday. Yesterday, I was so so happy when I found out that our Home Study was completed and would soon be in-route to our Adoption Agency. I saw only blue skies, sunshine and a sweet little girl in our future. Today, after speaking with our case worker, I was saddened to learn that we must first file an I-600A with the USCIS, get that approved (2-3 month wait) and THEN send our official dossier and first monetary installment to Uganda. Ugh. Hit in the gut.

Perhaps, I had misunderstood the process? I am not mad at anyone. This is no one’s fault. It is just not what I thought the next step was. Type A’s like me have to take a minute and get a grip when plans change. After years of learning the art of flexibility – due to child rearing – this one still hurt. I admit it, I cried. This is a good form of stress relief for me, though.

After my messy tears and lots of hugs from my boys (love these guys), I can see a portion of the blessing of more time. The longer we wait before sending our dossier in, the more time that we have to save and raise money. We have been given time to read and learn more about international adoption and the many issues that topic entails. We now have more time to talk to other adoptive parents.

I admit I just want to go and bring our little girl home now. I have not seen her face; however, I love this child. We already have plans for her. We miss her and want her to experience life with us. We want to introduce her to new foods and life with adoring brothers. I am already seeing updated family photos in our future, buying little girl sandals and learning how to do her hair. Oh, this aches. We are in love with a child that we have never even met (or seen a picture of), but she already has our hearts.

So for now, I will wait for our Home Study to be officially approved, then apply for the necessary government forms, then wait. Life goes on, this I know. Just missing that little girl.